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I heard Khys moving about. Santh s ears flicked forward, stayed pointed behind
me, upon my left. He ceased his satisfied growling, muttered to himself. The
hulion retrieved its paw from my lap, sat up, front paws tucked between rear.
Santh had much grown since I had last truly seen him. I found my fingertips at
my band of restraint, with an effort disengaged them.
Santh regarded me, speaking plaintively in hulion. His tail again flogged the
grass. He rose up, took a step forward, butting his huge head against my
chest. I threw my arms around his furred neck, buried my head there, smelling
the pungent airiness of him. Oh, Santh, I love you, I thought, wondering if he
could hear me.
He pulled his great head away suddenly. A thrill of fear constricted my belly.
He hissed. I had never heard such a sound from him. He backed away, his head
snaking low, from side to side, growling. Then he whirled, and in one bound
had the air, the crack of his wings blocking my ears, the wind of it slapping
me back. I watched until he was a dot in the deep green sky, until the dot
disappeared.
I turned to Khys. I had seen the hulion. He had allowed it. His one hand toyed
with the great chald of Silistra, the other hid within the cloak licking
around him. He watched me intently.
I would not cry. I had upset my tenuous equanimity. I had disturbed Santh. I
rubbed my naked arms with cold, moist palms.
I will take you back, he offered. I nodded, fell in beside him. He put arm
and cloak around me, for warmth. I smiled up at him, thankful for the small
kindness. You are not what you were, I told myself fiercely. You will never
be. Be at least strong. Behave with grace.
As befits a Shaper s daughter, remarked Khys, softly mocking, or
commiserating, I knew not which.
Have you any message for me, from Santh? I asked, as he headed us toward his
tower. The sound of it was more bitter than I had intended.
Khys turned his head toward me, the parentheses that enclosed his mouth
suddenly graved deep and sharp. He considers you unfortunately afflicted, he
said.
What price are you exacting from me, to treat me thus? What debt have I
incurred? I would not scratch at my band. I clasped my hands behind my back,
my eyes upon the white walkway ahead of us.
Any other would have destroyed you out of hand, he said wearily. I may do
it yet, to save my own sanity. I am constantly urged to do so, by those who
know just how great a power you unleashed upon the plain of Astria. One might
say you incurred a debt there great enough to wipe out your life-right. Some,
Gherein included, have demanded that payment. More vehemently will such
demands be made of me, now that you know your identity. You are not free. It
is that simple. Should I imprison you in some undertunnel, feed you upon stale
crusts, until you enter that fact into your conception? he demanded. His hand
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grasped my arm hard above the elbow.
But as you yourself pointed out once, we did only your will! You did not
imprison Sereth, nor feed stale crusts to the cahndor of Nemar!
Would that owkahen allowed it, he muttered, squinting ahead, toward his
tower. His grip upon me loosened. I felt my blood rush to heat the squeezed
flesh. I have to fill my council s empty seat. Then I will see about your
circle partner, he added, almost companionably, as if regretting his
harshness.
My thanks, I managed.
His gaze flickered over me, though he did not turn his head. I pushed my hair,
wind-tickling, off my forehead. Up the wide steps he propelled me.
I must go do my work, said Khys as the attendants answered his ringing
summons and the doors opened before us. The keep is unlocked. Stay there
until I send for you. Baern! It was to the dark attendant he spoke. See her
safely to my couch.
The guard reached out. Khys pushed me toward him. Then he was gone down the
steps.
Lady, the guard invited, his eyes lowered. I preceded him, taking the front
passages, those of ornithalum and archite, that I might pass the hulion
tapestry upon the way. Before it I stood a long time gazing, until the man
made small noises in his throat, his body rustling its impatience as he
shifted. He was darkly hirsute, rather like some brist that had learned to
walk upright, if ponderously. When I adjudged him distressed unto the verge of
speech, I moved off toward the dharen s keep.
The doors were still ajar. Without a backward glance I slipped within. By the
time I had turned to face them, they were closed and locked.
I smiled to myself, as I went and pulled back the alcove s curtains. I sat
upon the ledge a time, watching the water, attempting once more to cut my mind
adrift.
It was a sound like wind s wailing. Like standing atop the Keening Rock of
Fai-Teraer Moyhe on the eve of winter solstice, with the Embrodming Sea
rumbling below. That wretched, that lonely was the sound that emanated from my
prison keep. I have been there, where the heart of the world beats the dirge
of the spirit upon Silistra s bones, and I know. I crept toward the doors to
my prison, stealthy. They were not locked.
With infinite care I parted them, drew them back. Upon my couch in that gray
holding keep lay Liuma, curled into a ball, my own white robe wrapped around
her velvet darkness. I hovered there an ith, undecided. She had not seen me.
Presti m it, Nemarchan, I said quietly. She stiffened, sniffled, uncovered
her head, using her arms instead to push herself upright. I sa w the horror in
her swollen eyes, the trembling of her puffy lips. She drew her knees up to
her chin, crossing her wrists about her ankles.
Chayin said you recalled yourself, she said shakily, not wanting to believe
otherwise.
I do, I admitted, leaning against the doorframe. Whatever it is that
troubles you, it might ease you to bring it out here. I motioned behind me,
to Khys s keep. We could drink some kifra and consider it.
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