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The three women thought about that, too.
Peg said, Back to the packet.
Week One: Acclimation and Self-Analysis, recited Gloria.
Week Two: Interpersonal Exercises. Week Three: Group Dy-
namic. Week Four: Incorporation and Evaluation. And then,
Back to what you were doing at three in the morning.
Peg said, I couldn t sleep after filling out that monstrous
questionnaire. So I got some fresh air. On the porch. I accli-
matized. And self-analyzed. Very hard work.
Liar, said Gloria.
106 Valerie Frankel
Okay, okay. The truth is, I was with someone.
Who? asked Tracy.
Peg said, I was with . . .
Yes? they prompted in unison.
The ghosts of relationships past.
More like the specter of relationships future, snorted
Tracy.
Tracy and Gloria dropped the subject. The three women
talked and cloud-gazed until Wilma called them in for lunch.
The men were already seated and eating ravenously, having
spent the morning digging a septic sewer in a neighbor s field.
Peg sat next to Ray at the table. He gave her thigh a
squeeze, high up. She said, You smell like dirt.
He said, According to Linus, digging is like getting to know
someone. Shoveling on the surface is easy. Unearthing gets
harder the deeper you go.
Ah, said Peg.
Say that again, in my ear, but more like a moan, he whis-
pered.
Next week, we get to go on a simulated date, she said.
I don t want to simulate anything with you, he said.
Peg felt like she was being watched. Sure enough, both
Wilma and Linus had their eyes on her and Ray. Peg plowed
into her bean-sprout and eggplant wrap.
I missed you this morning, Peg, said Linus.
I not used to getting up so early, she said. Meanwhile,
Ray continued to stroke her thigh under the table.
Maybe tomorrow? asked Linus.
I ll try, she said.
Linus smiled amicably. Peg watched him glance over at
Wilma, who assiduously avoided making eye contact with
him. Meanwhile, Tracy stared at Luke, who kept a watchful
eye on Gloria, who was staring blankly into her plate. Ben,
unable to get Gloria s attention, took to gnawing on a carrot
like it owed him money.
The Girlfriend Curse 107
Ray leaned toward Peg and whispered, I m still hard from
last night. We need a second date. Tonight. At ten?
She nodded slyly, her heart already pounding in anticipa-
tion. Peg put a hand on Ray s leg, and thought smugly, I m the
happiest woman at this table.
Chapter 14
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That afternoon, the women took a five-mile canoe trip, first
downriver, with the current, Wilma making comments like,
You see how easy it is in the beginning? Everything flows in
the right direction, you glide along, not a care, paddling eas-
ily. On the way back, upriver, against the current, their arms
aching, Wilma said, When things get harder and the current
runs against you, it s tempting to stop, to give up, to park on
a nearby island, to forget the whole journey
Tracy shouted, There s a nearby island! She pointed her
paddle toward a tiny dot of land in the middle of the Con-
necticut River. Let s stop. Let s give up. Let s forget the whole
journey.
Peg said, Yes, let s. We get the message, Wilma. Relation-
ships are easy at first, but challenges inevitably arise and one
has to be willing to paddle through them, no matter how hard
things get, even if you re pulling muscles in your forearms, or
your neck is in spasm, or your back is sunburned.
And you re dying of hunger, said Tracy. What I wouldn t
give for some of that tasteless trail mix from yesterday.
Gloria, still digging deep with her paddle after Peg and
Tracy had taken theirs out of the water, said, Are my arms
supposed to be numb? Look, I can pinch myself.
Wilma agreed to take a break, so Gloria steered the canoe
toward the little island. They pulled up on a mud beach and
c
110 Valerie Frankel
lashed the canoe to a tree branch overhanging the river. They
got out, and invaded the island twenty feet in diameter,
nicely shaded, with a carpet of dry pine needles and a dozen
sappy trees. Tracy and Peg lay down on the ground, enjoying
the sunlight through the branches. Gloria stood next to the
canoe, paddle in hand, like a conquering hero. Wilma sat on
a rock by the beach, surveying the river.
Gloria said, The reason relationships are easy at first is be-
cause everyone is on his and her best behavior. You get com-
fortable, and then the ugly truth emerges.
Wilma nodded. According to research, people let down
their guard, on average, after six months.
Six months was usually when Peg s relationships went bad.
It would make more sense if people showed the ugly truth
from the start, said Peg. That way, you can only improve.
Only, who s going to get involved in the first place with
the ugly truth? Men want the beautiful lie, said Tracy. So do
women. We want illusion. Reality is a disappointment.
Wilma said, Or maybe you can be your true self, develop
a friendship that can deepen over time, building trust and fa-
miliarity, and then shift into a romantic relationship that s
based on something real.
Once you re friends, you can t see a man the other way,
said Gloria.
Besides which, where s the passion? asked Peg. If you
can keep your hands off him long enough to become friends,
that s a sign that there s no attraction.
You can have passion with a friend, said Wilma.
Are you speaking from personal experience, or research?
asked Peg, again trying to draw her out, satisfy her curiosity.
Hesitantly, Wilma said, Linus was my mentor when I was
a grad student. We established a friendship before getting in-
volved.
And that s when the passion emerged? asked Peg. Tracy
turned her head toward Peg, giving her a questioning look.
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